What If
by DanielFactoid
Summary: [complete...my favorite to have written]After London and the death of Phoebe Buffay, the remaining five drift apart. Some ten years later, their lives are entangled again. Some JoeyRachel, RossRachel, MonicaChandler.
1. Chapter 1

"What If"

Show: Friends

Genre: Drama, Romance

Rated: T (possible language, possible minor sex scenes, possible sex and drug references, death, and Richard, who scares the little children…stupid tree!)

Pairing(s): Joey/Rachel, Ross/Rachel, Richard/Monica, Chandler/Monica

Summary: After London and the death of Phoebe Buffay, the remaining five drift apart. Their lives are connected again some ten years later. Some CM, RR, and JR.

Note: All events leading up to London have happened. That's where the story starts. Un-beated.

Disclaimer: I don't own Friends or anything associated with it. I love you, Chandler!

To Gunther- you rock my world! (and creep me out a bit)

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"Ross, I'm glad that you decided to take the honeymoon trip even if Emily isn't coming," Rachel said sincerely to her friend.

Ross turned to her and smiled, "Me too…And this is going to be fun! I'm going to try and call her when we get to Greece, though…give her some time and space…we can get through this, right?"

Rachel nodded distractedly, "Sure, sure…_or_ you could worry about that _after_ Greece."

"I don't know, Rach…"

"Well, let's not worry about it right now, OK?" she said, and picked up her glass, "To hoping that everything will work out eventually!"

Ross raised his and it chinked against hers. They drank, and placed the glasses down.

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Chandler glanced at Monica every once and a while as the plane took off. She was apparently reading a book- but her eyes weren't moving and she hadn't flipped the page in several minutes.

_I could be a world-class thumb-twiddler_, he thought as he literally twiddled his thumbs, _People would come and say "Hey! There's the Twiddler!" and I would be famous for twiddling my thumbs…make more money than I do now…be on talk shows… _

"Alright, alright!" muttered Chandler, and ceased his twiddling.

"Thank God," Monica said, finally flipping the page.

He turned to her, "What, my twiddling annoying you?"

"Yep."

"Well…that's too bad, because…because…"

She looked up at him with a small smile, "Because…?"

"Alright, fine, you win!" he snapped, crossing his arms. A few moments later, he continued, "Mon?"

"Yeah?"

"We…we kind of need to talk."

Monica closed the book as though she'd been waiting for him to say this, "Shoot."

"Okay… well, you know how we kind of…sort of…in London…"

"Seven times?"

"OK, officially _not_ helping," after a pause, he continued, "Do you want to…when get back to New York…continue seeing…seeing each other…?"

Monica bit down on her lip and glanced around, then turned back to Chandler, "Chandler, I actually have to tell you something…This morning, I got a call from Richard…he said that he was ready to have kids, and that…that he wanted to marry me."

Chandler's mouth dropped open in shock; there was no _way_ this was happening… Richard, that stupid tree, always being better than him, taking the woman he was falling in love with before he could swoop in and prove to her that her wanted them to be much more than friends…

"Well, uh, well, uh…well, what did you say?"

"I…I said 'yes'."

"I see."

"Look, Chandler, what we did…that was just a mistake, right? I mean, you and me, together? Can you imagine that?"

Chandler stood, "Actually, I really gotta go to the bathroom."

"Aren't you _happy _for me?"

"Sure, why the hell not?" he snapped, and strode towards the bathroom, puke building up in his mouth.

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"It's not your faaauulllt," Phoebe Buffay sang under her breath as she drove in the borrowed taxi.

Suddenly, another car came around the road- no, not a car, a truck. The driver was bopping to some loud rap- Phoebe's nose wrinkled as the truck drove closer.

The driver swerved and in a split second, he'd hit the taxi and Phoebe's shouted out something. The glass shattered into millions of pieces and flew throughout the air as she jolted forward and crashed into the headboard-

And then all went black.

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Monica stood up and left for the bathroom as Chandler continued to mutter under his breath. Joey moved into Monica's seat so that he could talk to Chandler. "Hey, what's up with you and Monica?"

"It's nothing."

"C'mon, you can tell me."

Chandler sighed, "She's marrying Richard."

Joey's eyes widened, "But…since _when!_ Didn't he not want to have kids?"

"Yeah! He called her this morning and asked her! I mean, who _does_ that, anyway?"

Joey frowned and glanced around to make sure Monica wasn't coming back, "But why aren't you happy for her?"

Chandler sighed and closed his eyes. After a moment he reopened them and looked at Joey, "OK, I'll tell you, but you've got to _swear_ not to tell anyone else."

"Okay, what is it?"

"Monica and I…kind of…had sex…last night."

Joey's face dropped in pure shock. His mouth popped open and his eyes widened, "No _way_!"

"Yes way, and now…I feel like…like she should be with me, not him," Chandler said quietly.

"Sounds like you're in love."

"I am _not_ in love with Monica Geller!"

"Yeah, just trick yourself into believing that."

"Look, Joey, I'm not in love with her!"

"Then how come you can't be happy for her?"

Chandler was left with this question hanging over his head as Monica returned from the bathroom and Joey went back to his own seat. Why _couldn't _he be happy for her?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wow, it's so _beautiful_," Rachel murmured as she looked out the hotel window. A gorgeous beach stretched for miles, and she was mesmerized.

"I know," Ross agreed as he walked across the room to her, handing her a glass of wine.

After several moments, she finally spoke, "I'm sorry, Ross."

"For what?"

"I shouldn't have come to the wedding; I ruined it for you and Emily."

Ross gave her a smile, "It's OK."

She smiled back, and he wrapped his arm around her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Monica and Chandler stomped up in stairs in silence, Joey between them. When they reached the apartment, she unlocked the door and all three went inside.

After a few moments in which Chandler considered, yet again, being a world-class thumb-twiddler, Joey finally said something, "Well, I guess we should-"

But he was interrupted by Chandler, "I can't _believe_ you're going to marry this guy!"

Monica turned swiftly to Chandler, red, as though they'd already been fighting for a while, "What I do is my business, not yours! I think I'm going to be happy with him! Do you see _anyone_ else who would make me just as happy as Richard?"

Chandler moved his mouth like a fish for several seconds, but no sound came out. Finally, he turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind himself.

Monica looked as though she were going to go after him to yell some more, but the phone rang just as she'd taken a step towards the door. She picked up the receiver, "Hello?"

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Ross stared up at the ceiling, cursing himself. What the _hell_ had he just done? _Sleeping with _RACHEL? Not only was it Rachel Green, but he was married…Married, to Emily…yes, it was all coming back as he dove into the bathroom again, projectile vomit gushing out of his mouth…too much alcohol…too many problems to deal with…he didn't want another divorce…but now, was he sure he wanted Emily?

Rachel was no better. She was rocking back and forth on her knees on the other side of the hotel room, trash can in front of her. _No, no, no, this is all _wrong_…_ she thought miserably. The room was spinning, and there were two of the trash cans…_Probably more the better_, she reminded herself. _Doesn't look like it's ending anytime soon…_

She couldn't quite explain how she felt. On the physical angle, she was throwing up the liters of alcohol. On emotional…through her slurred feelings, one important thought came through: had she _really_ just made her friend commit adultery? What if…

Then she froze as a second thought passed through her brain.

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Monica quietly placed down the receiver. Joey watched her as she began to cry softly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked concernedly, walking over to comfort her.

"There- there was…there was an a-a-accident," she murmured, hugging Joey tightly as though trying to direct some of her sorrow to Joey, "Phoebe…in…car…crash."

Joey was shocked, "Is she okay?"

Monica shook her head into his shoulder, "She's…she's…"

And though she didn't finish the sentence, Joey knew what she was trying to say.

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There's Chapter 1 for you all. I hope you all like this story, it should be interesting to see where it goes (I really don't plan my stories out at all). Anyway, as always, reviews loved. I am so sorry I had to do that to Phoebe…believe me, I just saw The One at the Beach again, and it hurt so bad that I was writing this, because she rocks in that one, as always. I have like 5 billion plot lines I need to put in here, so it'll probably be long. Will get Chapter 2 up ASAP.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you for all the reviews. Someone wrote "kill Richard not Pheebs", and believe you me, I much rather would have killed him off than her. But that's not the way the story works.

I was actually going to skip right ahead ten years and get to the action…but then I realized my R/R plot would go up in flames…and we can't have that happening. Anyway, thanks for the reviews, they make my day…especially since my computer doesn't say "You've got Mail". I've got Phoebe's voice saying, "Hey, you've got mail!" It's really funny! And when I sign onto AOL, Joey's voice says "Heeyy" and when I log out, Chandler's says "Oh, sure, _good_bye". Just thought I'd share. :D

Also…Monica and Rachel's apartment is number 20, and Joey and Chandler's is 19, right? I always miss it when they show the numbers…gaaaahhh……

(One Month Later)

Chapter 2

Chandler glanced around his bedroom for one last time. He smiled at the door that had been sawed in half, and then sighed. After a few minutes, he picked up his bag and walked out into the living room/kitchen/dining room. Joey, Ross, Rachel, Monica, and Richard were waiting, and they all turned to face him. He resisted the urge to kick Richard.

He glanced around the room, the sad faces weighing his heart down. Things had not been the same since Phoebe's funeral- none of them seemed to have anything to say to each other. And when he'd been offered a promotion in Philadelphia, he took it gladly- he needed to start again.

"Well, I guess…I guess this is goodbye," he said weakly. An instant later, Joey had him in a tight hug. The other three joined, and Richard stood awkwardly on the side.

It was comforting to be bear-hugged. He couldn't remember feeling a moment like this since Phoebe had realized she was pregnant with the triplets- the triplets that had also not survived the car crash.

They slowly broke apart, and he realized that they were all crying- including himself. Brushing away tears, he handed Ross a piece of paper, "Cell phone number. Don't worry; I'm not going to change it."

Ross nodded and handed Chandler a piece of paper, "Our cell phones, and we're not going to change them either."

Chandler gave a weak smile, took a deep breath, and walked out of the apartment.

As he closed the door, the first thing he wanted to do was walk into a wall.

He stood there for a moment, in the hallway, looking at the door to Monica and Richard's apartment. _It sounds so _stupid, he thought angrily. _That's Monica and **Rachel's**…or Monica and Phoebe's…or me and Joey's…never, **ever **Richard's… _

He sighed and took a last, fond look at apartments 19 and 20. Then he began to walk away from them, towards the stairs.

The door to number 19 opened and someone came out. Chandler turned around to see Monica Geller behind him.

"Hey," she said quietly.

He nodded in silent acknowledgement.

"Thanks for…being there…and…everything," she said through tears. He hesitated for a moment, and then pulled her into a tight hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they stayed that way for a few minutes- far too short of a period for Chandler- until she finally, reluctantly, broke away, "I'm going to…going to miss you a lot."

"Me too," he replied softly. _More than you know…_

"I mean…first, Phoebe…Phoebe had to-had to- had to g-g-go…And now, you're leaving…I'm married…Rachel's p-p-pregnant…"

Chandler jumped back in shock, "She's _what!" _

"Shit, I wasn't supposed to t-t-tell you that…" she gave him a weak smile, "It's Ross's…they had…sex…in Greece…"

Chandler's mouth dropped open, "Uh…Did the thought of 'Emily' occur to them!"

"I d-don't know…but now Ross and her are d-d-divorced, so it doesn't matter… Everything's so _different_, it's all screwed up…"

Chandler brushed away some of the hair that had fallen into her face as she continued to cry. He kissed her on the forehead, "It's going to be OK…I'll see you soon."

She looked up and smiled at him, "At least in eight months."

"Absolutely. Wouldn't want to miss a baby coming out of Rachel."

"Bye, Chandler…and thanks…again."

Chandler merely smiled a sad smile, turned around, and left.

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"Ross?"

Ross turned around to face an uncomfortable-looking Rachel, "What is it?"

"Why don't you sit down?" she said with a sigh. Ross looked at her confusedly, and then sat on Joey's couch. She sat next to him, then jumped up and stood in front of him, "OK, Ross…I've got to tell you something…big," she added.

He gave her a signal to continue.

She took a deep breath, "Okay, okay, okay… In Greece, we _kind_ of made a mistake. We had sex, and we shouldn't have, and I know we're both sorry that happened. But we also…"

She drifted off and closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead with her right hand as Ross watched her on the edge of his seat. Finally, she opened her eyes, "Ross, we forgot to use… a condom… I'm pregnant."

Ross's mouth dropped open and he fell face-first onto the floor.

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"Why did he take that job?" Joey said through a few tears, holding a beer car so fiercely that Monica was afraid it might explode all over her kitchen. She took Joey's other hand and squeezed it.

"I'm not sure," she said softly.

"He could've stayed here and kept his job! But _no_, he's gotta move to _Philly_!" Joey said angrily, banging his fist on the table. Then, for one sudden moment, he was completely silent, as though something had just dawned on him, "Wait a minute…this doesn't have anything to do with," he dropped his voice dramatically, knowing that Richard was in the bathroom, "you and him having sex in London, does it?"

Monica covered her mouth with her hand in shock as she gasped. She lowered her hand, "How the hell do you know about that?"

Joey suddenly found the table very interesting; he stared at it as he said, "Chandler told me on the plane."

"He **_what_**!" Monica hissed, "He said he wouldn't tell anyone!"

Joey looked into her eyes again, "Mon, don't you get it?"

"Get _what_?"

At this moment, Richard appeared from the bathroom and saw Monica and Joey whispering to each other, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," they said simultaneously.

Richard frowned.

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"_I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts standing in a row…big ones, small ones, some the size of your head…_" Chandler sung to himself as he waited to board the plane to Philadelphia. A blonde woman next to him turned to face him and smiled.

"You've got a nice voice," she said.

Chandler smiled back, "Thank you…?"

She stuck out her hand, "Samantha Romfold."

"Well, thank you, Samantha Romfold," he said, shaking her hand.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh! I'm Chandler Bing," he said, and seemed to realize that he was still shaking her hand. He let go, "So, you're going to the land of the cheese steaks?"

She nodded brightly, "I was actually in New York on business, I live in Philadelphia."

He nodded, "Ah, so you're queen of the cheese steaks?"

She laughed and touched his arm.

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Ross picked himself up from the floor and fell back onto the sofa. Then he stood, and then sat again, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…"

"I know, I know, it's big, but Ross, it's us!" Rachel said desperately, "This isn't going to be that bad!"

"Oh, you know, you're right, come to think of it!" Ross said loudly, "I've always wanted to conceive a child on my honeymoon with my ex-girlfriend while I was still married to someone else! Yeah, yeah, this is just _great!_"

Rachel sat next to him, "I know this is going to be hard…but you and Carol had Ben, and it turned out okay…"

"I was _married_ to her before! We didn't create him though adultery!"

Rachel's head fell into her hands, "I know, but that was _both_ our faults! Stop acting like a penis head and let's be adults and try and figure out how this is going to work!"

Ross slowly turned to her, "'_Penis head'?"_

"It was the only thing that came to mind!"

"So now we're resulting to insults that have to do with the male anatomy!"

Rachel stood up and walked across the room so that she was on the other side of the counter, "Ross, I understand how hard this is for you. But think about _me_ and think about our _baby_. Either you pull yourself together and you're there one hundred percent for this baby, or you're out of both our lives."

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"It sounds like they were on a break."

"I know!" Chandler said in agreement with Samantha, "I mean, I never told Ross that I sided with Rachel because he was like my best friend, but it was so obvious that they were on a break."

Samantha frowned, "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, 'what do you mean'?"

Samantha smiled at Chandler's question, "I mean, you said Ross was your best friend. Isn't he still?"

Chandler froze for a moment, and then shrugged, "Um… I guess… things are going to be a lot different since I'm moving to Philly…"

Samantha nodded and stretched, "Wow, I'm having a lot of fun. I'm glad our seats were next to each other."

"Me too! Oh my god…"

"What?"

"I can't believe I just told you the 'we were on a break' story. I mean, I've known you for about an hour, normally I'd just be making really bad jokes."

"Maybe we were just meant to sit next to each other."

Chandler gave her a smile, "Maybe."

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So there's Chapter 2. Please review, you know how much I love you all when you do that. Plus, you'll get some pudding skin singles if you do. ---bribes---


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Thanks again for the reviews. You all get pudding skin singles. Most unfortunately, however, this isn't a fun, light-hearted fic. Well, not unfortunately for me, seeing as I like writing depressing things, but for people looking for an amusing little tale of the wonderful Mondler and R/R love, it's not happening. Not that I'm saying that Mondler and R/R WON'T happen, but this isn't a fun fic. At least not for the characters. So if you're looking for a fun fic read "Bored"…that was actually supposed to be longer, but I decided not to…gahh whatever.

I think I've got to explain the behavior of certain characters…the death of Phoebe is incredibly important to the story. The other five are confused and definitely not acting themselves Chandler moving to Philly, Ross debating whether or not to stay in Rachel's life, Monica rashly giving up Chandler for Richard (she may have said no eventually if Phoebe had been alive), and all of this will be important to future plots. So enjoy the depressing tale!

Chapter 3

"Rach…"

"Well, which is it?" she snapped.

Ross stood and walked to the counter so that he was facing her and said quietly, "I'm not…I don't know."

Rachel's mouth fell open, "What do you mean, 'I don't know'! This is our baby!" her voice softened, "Ross…you've got to be there…I need someone."

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"Are you really sure you want to move out?"

Rachel turned to Monica, who was packing clothes into boxes while looking concernedly at her friend, "Yeah…yeah, I am. If Ross isn't _sure_ that he wants to be a daddy, then I…I really can't live with him."

"So you're moving in with Joey?"

"Yeah, and he can't pay the rent on his own, so it's good for everyone."

"Oh. Yeah, just great," Monica replied quietly, taping a full box, "I'm done."

"So, how are things with you and Richard?"

"Fine. Things are fine. My life is fine."

Rachel frowned at her, "You OK?"

"No, I'm not. Does that really surprise you?"

Rachel shook her head, "I don't think any of us are, hun."

Monica sighed and leaned against the bed, closing her eyes. "Things are never going to be the same," she murmured. Rachel nodded silently even though Monica's eyes were shut and sat next to her, closing her eyes also.

"Mon?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss Phoebe."

Monica smiled and a small tear trickled down her cheek, "Me too."

"And I'm going to miss Chandler."

"Me too."

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Chandler took his briefcase out of the overhead compartment and boarded off the plane, Samantha behind him. When they got inside the airport, he asked, "So…where are you headed?"

"Actually, my apartment's about a mile from here."

"I'm here, at least for the time being," he said, showing her a piece of paper.

She smiled as she saw the address, "Marshel Street! I'm about five blocks from there."

"Great!" he said, smiling back, "Maybe you can show me where the hell it is?"

"Sure, we can share a taxi."

"Sounds good," he replied, and she led the way to baggage claim. He followed behind her, trying not to think about a certain married woman.

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(Approximately Eight Months Later)

"Chandler! Where the hell have you _been_!"

"Rush hour!" he said in reply to Monica's rather rude greeting. They both ran through the doors of the hospital soaking wet- it was raining buckets, "Stupid Rachel has to have her baby in the middle of rush hour!"

They jumped into an elevator and Monica punched in the 'up' button, "I've been waiting outside for nearly an hour, I thought you were here in New York on business!"

"I was, I was…the meeting was just at the farthest place from the hospital, it went late, traffic, and- hey, we're here!"

They ran out of the elevator though the maternity ward, nearly running into a doctor, and burst through a door where Rachel was sitting on a bed, face scrunched up in pain from a contraction. After a few moments, she threw her head back onto a pillow, muttering to herself.

Chandler took a look around the room. Joey was standing next to the bed, looking down concernedly. Ross was to Joey's left and several feet back, his arms crossed. Richard was on the other side of the bed. All four looked up at the two new arrivals.

"Dude, what took you so long?" Joey asked Chandler.

"Rush hour, traffic, late meeting," Chandler panted, getting his breath back from the sudden sprint through the hospital.

"Hey, do you guys mind if I talk to Rachel alone for a bit?" Ross asked. Rachel looked up at him, confused, and the other three nodded and left the room. He pulled over a chair and seemed to be thinking for a moment.

"You know, I've got a baby coming out of my vagina any time now, so you might want to start talking," she snapped.

He sighed, "Okay then… I was thinking about how you said you needed someone a while ago… I just want you to know that I'll be here for you."

"Ross, what is your _problem_? I said that _eight months ago_, and for eight months you've been debating whether or not to stay in my life. I…I don't know if I want someone who isn't sure if he loves me and the baby to stay close…"

"What are you saying?"

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"I'm hungry," Joey complained as he sat, facing Chandler.

"Then go eat," Chandler snapped.

"Jeez, get grumpy," Monica muttered.

"What did you say?" Chandler said, turning to Monica.

"Nothing," Monica said, crossing her arms and staring straight ahead at Richard.

"No, no, you said something."

"C'mon you two…" Richard began to interrupt, but Chandler and Monica had already started.

"What the hell do you care what I said, it's not like you return our calls all the time or email us!" she shouted.

"I'm busy!" he shouted back.

"Too busy for your _friends!_"

Chandler jumped up, "Maybe I've got new friends!"

"Well, thank god, 'cause we're sick of you!"

"Uh, Mon-" Joey began, but Chandler was already walking away.

After a few minutes of silence, Joey got up, "I'm going to…go look for a…vending machine…"

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"Ross, I'm not ready to go through that pain again!"

Ross was about to shout back, but she had another contraction. He grabbed her hand as her face screwed up in pain, but she smacked it away, grabbing the bed instead.

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Joey walked by Rachel's room, and frowned as he heard raised voices. He stopped by the door to listen- after all, it wasn't exactly eavesdropping if you were yelling loud enough for anyone to hear.

"Rach, I'm _telling_ you I can do this! I'll be there for you and the baby!" Ross's voice shouted.

"Ross, I can't believe you! I can't TRUST you to stay by me! I need someone who's DEPENDABLE, and you DON'T fit that description!" she yelled back.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

There was a moment of silence in which Joey ran his fingers through his hair. What the hell was happening to his once-tight-knit group of friends?

"What…what does this mean?" Ross asked, his voice much quieter.

"I- I don't know, Ross, I don't _know_," Rachel moaned, and before either of them could say anything more, a doctor rushed into the room.

"How is everything?" she asked.

"Oh, just swell-" Rachel began cynically, and then yelled out in pain as another contraction came along.

"OK, I think you're ready!" the doctor said.

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Joey jumped back as they rushed Rachel to the delivery room. Ross slowly walked out of the private room they'd just been in, his hands in his pockets.

"Hey," Ross greeted Joey in the same depressed voice he had used about five years ago when Rachel had first come to live with Monica.

"Dude, I heard…everything… what are you gonna do?"

Ross sighed and closed the door, leaning against it as he talked to Joey, "I really don't know… she doesn't trust me to be there for her, and who can blame her? I've been so horrible these last eight months…"

"Come on, Ross, no one's been themselves since…since it."

"I know, but that's no reason for me to act like this!" he paused for a moment, as though debating whether or not to say something; finally, he said quietly, "Phoebe wouldn't have wanted this to happen."

Looks of gloom settled on both the men's faces as they leaned against the white-washed walls of the hospital. Joey watched Ross shift restlessly, and he turned back on his own thoughts. Ross was right; what would Phoebe said if she could see this? He was sure that having his friend back would solve all problems; for one, things would not have been so awkward between the five of them. Even eight months after her death, the friendship between the people Joey had once thought inseparable was quickly disintegrating to monthly phone calls instead of the twice-a-day hangout at Central Perk. He was sure that Phoebe would have known about the Monica-Chandler incident; he believed her nearly psychic. This whole business with Ross and Rachel could have been glossed over easier with one of her "lobster" jokes…

Yes, all in all, Joey believed that if his friend was still among them, they'd still be as they were before London, before Greece, before the car crash…

He stood up a little straighter, thinking; what would Phoebe do?

_She'd make Ross and Rachel happy,_ he thought. _She'd try to fix this mess. _

"Ross…" he started, turning to his friend.

"Yeah?" Ross sighed.

"What do you want for Rachel?"

Ross shrugged, "To be happy, I guess. I thought… I thought she'd be happy with me, but that's not what she wants… I just hope she finds someone dependable who she loves."

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"Cigarettes, huh? You haven't pulled that one in a while."

Chandler glanced at Monica, who was standing just outside the door of the hospital. The rain had stopped and now there was the _drip-drip-drip _of water falling from the roof. He said nothing and let out another puff of smoke, staring down back at his feet.

Monica walked over to the bench he was sitting at, "Can I sit here?"

"No one's stopping you."

Monica rolled her eyes and sat next to him. After a few minutes and several puffs later, Chandler finally said, "So, do you have something to say, or did you just come out here for the…" he looked at his cigarette, "fresh…air…?"

Monica turned to him, snatched the cigarette out of his hand, threw it on the ground, and mashed it with her foot in one motion. Chandler raised his eyebrows.

"Um…"

"It's a disgusting habit," she snapped, "And I can't have you smoking around me anyway. Otherwise, I wouldn't care. Go kill your lungs, you deserve it, you self-righteous son-of-a-bitch who left just because he felt uncomfortable."

Chandler was speechless for a good two minutes, in which he stared at Monica in slight shock. When he finally got his voice back, he managed to say, "What do you mean I can't…smoke around…you…?"

Monica fidgeted on the bench, "I'm pregnant…" then she added hastily, knowing how peculiar Chandler could get, "with Richard, not…someone else."

Chandler's eyes widened and he fumbled inside his coat pocket for a moment, hastily lit a cigarette, then jumped up and threw the cigarette on the ground, smashing it with his toe, shouting (apparently at the cigarette), "No! No smoking!"

After a moment in which he stood, staring at the cigarette, Monica asked awkwardly, "So… how do you…feel about…this…?"

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Lalalala…what, I'm singing! Oh, sorry…but there's Chapter 3. I think probably half a chapter to a chapter more of this "approximately nine months later" stuff, and then we'll get to the "ten years later" stuff… the good stuff, in my opinion. Don't give up on this story, the good 'ships are on their way.

So please review and I'll try to update soon. I'm going on vacation from the 5th to the 9th, so I don't know how often I'll be able to write, but I shall try.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for all the reviews, they really inspire me to write much quicker.

Dreem- ahhh but if everyone read the stupid summary!

Rachelgreengeller- ok, you totally rock, but I didn't say Rachel didn't want Ross. Maybe you shouldn't read this chapter.

Laura369- Thanks, and fluff does rock! Drama is very good, I love depressing, shoot-me-now stories…but fluff makes me smile!

Fashion hottie- Kill the tree! Sorry Richard fans… (if there are any)

I'm going to try and reply to reviewers, it makes me feel happy….

I've been debating whether or not to start another fic (I had a vague idea for a Chandler/Rachel friendship fluffy fic), but I think I've devoted myself to this one… I love delving into the psyche of the characters, and death and love are the perfect scenarios to explore the best and worst of people. Sometimes, death brings out the best in someone; they let go of grudges and improve themselves because they realize they only have a certain amount of time. In this story, _so far_, death has brought out the worst, especially in the character of Chandler. You might know that I love Chandler dearly and that (I think) I understand him well. A lot of the focus is on him (though the R/R shippers and Joey fans needn't worry, they'll be in there just as much), and a lot of the destruction of the fabulous six is because of him. I'm not blaming him or anything, just saying that death, in this story, so far, has brought out the worst in our Bing-A-Ling… but remember, love often goes hand-in-hand with death (scarily enough), and people change.

Please don't hate Joey at all. I love him a lot, and I did what I had to do to keep it on the same level of depression. Mondler and R/R forever!

Enjoy! (Again, this is un-betaed, so sorry for any mistakes, I just hate editing my work!)

Chapter 4

Joey headed back to the waiting room where Richard still sat, checking his watch every few moments, tapping his foot, looking around impatiently. Joey sat across from him, "Where did Monica go?"

"To talk to Chandler," Richard replied with a sigh.

Joey sat straighter in his chair; he hadn't known Chandler was still at the hospital, "About what?"

Richard looked him in the eye, "You want the truth?"

"Sure."

"I have no idea."

"Do you know where they are?"

"Nope."

"Probably in a closet," Joey chuckled, despite the horrible situations occurring around him.

Richard sat straighter and leaned in, "What do you mean by that?"

Joey shrugged, "Just making a joke that maybe they were doing the same thing they did in London."

"In… London?"

Joey was about to reply when his eyes went wide and he clapped a hand over his mouth. He slowly pulled it down, "I don't think I was supposed to tell you about that."

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Chandler sat back down on the bench and stared at the pack of cigarettes in his hands, turning them over and over until he could stall no more, "I guess I'm… I'm happy for you."

"You are?" she said uncertainly.

"Yeah," he said quietly. Then a little louder, "Yeah. Who else knows?"

"Just me and Richard. And you."

"And me," he murmured, staring instead at his feet.

Monica looked concernedly at him, "You sure you're not…"

She wasn't quite sure what she was going to say; there were so many conflicting emotions Chandler could be having at this moment that it was impossible to say all of them in one word.

But he understood, and looked up at her, "Yeah, I'm sure… I'm not…" a word seemed stuck in the back of his throat, but he finally pushed it forward, "_jealous_ or anything… I'm seeing someone right now…it's kind of serious."

Monica raised an eyebrow, "Who?"

Chandler shrugged, "Just someone I met on the plane to Philly, Samantha Romfold."

"How serious?" These words of Monica's seemed just as stuck in her throat as Chandler's 'jealous' had been.

"We're living together," he said shortly.

"Oh…" her voice trailed off and there was silence once more. Finally, she said, "Hey… I'm sorry about… yelling at you before. In the waiting room"

"It's OK, I deserved it. Plus, I shouted back at you."

"No, you didn't deserve it. We've all been acting weird since…"

Chandler nodded and put the cigarettes back in his coat pocket, staring ahead into the street where pedestrians walked by, clutching umbrellas, and cars stood in an immobile line of traffic, "Since."

"It's been a long time."

He shrugged, "Not that long. Only nine months."

"A lot's happened."

He looked away from the street and spun to face her, "Too much."

"Chandler…" she began, then stared ahead at the street he had been watching so closely moments before. He continued to watch her until she finished her thought, "Sorry about…putting out your cigarette and yelling."

He smiled thinly, "I deserved it."

"You know, you keep saying that. It's getting a little annoying," she said with a smile.

"Well, I'm glad to know I'm pissing off a pregnant woman," he said, and she saw a spark in his eyes for the first time in nine months- the spark of the quirky, funny, compassionate man he had once been, the man that she missed so much. The last time she'd seen that spark… she looked away as she remembered London.

"Let's go back inside," she said quietly, and then stood. He followed her into the building, momentarily happy.

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"Hey, Joe," Chandler greeted Joey, who was still sitting, rather in shock, in the waiting room. Richard had disappeared and Ross was no where to be seen. Monica had gone to the bathroom.

Chandler sat across from Joey, snapping his fingers in front of his ex-roommate, "Joey!"

Joey shook out of his trance, "What?"

"Why are you spacing out?"

Joey looked away from Chandler and instead focused his eyes on his shoes, "I kind of let it slip to Richard that you and Monica… _you know_… in London…"

Chandler's mouth dropped open, "No _way!_"

"I know, I know, it just slipped! I was thinking about the accident, and you and Monica fighting, and the baby, and Ross and Rachel-"

"Ross and Rachel?" Chandler asked wonderingly.

"I overheard them talking… or yelling," Joey added, "Rach was telling Ross that he wasn't dependable… and then I asked him what he wanted for her. He just said he wanted her to be happy… Chandler… I've thought about…"

He paused to look around the waiting room as though the numerous people sleeping or reading dull magazines cared about what he said next in a low whisper, "I've been thinking… Ross wants her happy, right? And she wants someone dependable…"

Chandler's head dropped into his hands and he made a strange moaning noise. He finally looked up again, "Are you saying you want to propose…?"

"Ross said he wanted her to be happy."

"Ross doesn't know what the hell he wants, especially when it comes to Rachel!" Chandler hissed.

"Dude, like you would know, hanging out in Philadelphia-"

"For my job!"

Joey raised his hands in surrender, "I'm not getting in a fight with you, you already yelled at Monica today."

"She yelled at me too!" Chandler said angrily. He stood and picked up his coat, "I don't know why I bothered to come."

"Rachel's in labor, at least stay for her!"

"No! I'm obviously not wanted here, and I don't _want_ to be here, so I'm just going to go home. Monica's pregnant, you want to marry _Rachel_ while she's having Ross's kid, Phoebe's dead, Ross is a two-time divorcee who's having a kid with his ex-girlfriend, and Richard's a frigging TREE! You can all obviously thrive in your ridiculously twisted lives without me, so I'M LEAVING!"

Chandler was on his feet, shouting in the waiting room. The dull magazines were back on their tables and every eye in the room was on him. He took a deep breath and thought sadly of that small moment of happiness after he had talked to Monica. It had been a glimmer of hope that maybe they could all piece their lives back together. But that bubble of joy had burst and he was striding out of the hospital, not looking back at the mess he was leaving behind.

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Monica walked out of the bathroom, wiping her wet hands on her pants. _What kind of a bathroom doesn't have paper towels?_ She thought irritably.

Someone brushed by her, muttering something about having to leave. She looked up and saw it was Chandler, who was walking quickly to the elevator. He slowed as he reached the elevator and turned back to face the still Monica. He smiled rather sadly at her, entered the elevator, and disappeared.

"Mon?"

Monica turned around to face Richard.

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(Several Hours Later)

"Well, Ms. Green, you have a little baby girl," the doctor said, and handed the baby, wrapped in blankets, to Rachel. Her problems with Ross, the death of Phoebe, Chandler's distance from them for eight months… all disappeared when she looked down into the tiny pink face she held in her arms.

The door opened and Joey entered, "Um… can I have a private moment with her…?" he asked the doctor. She nodded and exited the room, closing the door. Joey walked farther into the room, and looked at the baby in amazement, "Wow… she's beautiful."

"I know," Rachel sighed.

"So… what did you name her?" Joey asked. Then he added, "I'm guessing it's a her?"

"Yeah, she is…" Rachel looked at the baby for a few moments, and then looked up at Joey, "Phoebe."

"What?" It was surprising how hard it was to get that one word out.

"I… I named her 'Phoebe'."

Joey looked down at the baby again and smiled, "She's a Phoebe."

"Yeah…" Rachel trailed off and both looked in wonder at the child. Finally, she looked back up at Joey, "Where's everyone else?"

Joey looked down, then back at Rachel, his smile gone and a sad, faraway look on his face, "Chandler left, Monica and Richard are fighting, and I don't know where Ross is."

Rachel sighed and turned back to little Phoebe, "I thought… I thought that at least Monica would be here when I gave birth… she's my best friend… And Ross, this is his daughter… Chandler… stupid Chandler hasn't visited for three months, he should have been here, he _should _have… Phoebe… Phoebe should have been here…"

"But she is," Joey said softly, moving closer to the mother and child. He touched Rachel's hand that was supporting Phoebe, "She's right here."

A single tear ran down Rachel cheek, "Joey… thank you for being… being here when everyone else…"

Several more tears.

"Everyone else… they're not here… I thought I'd have them forever and ever, but now you're the only one here, the only one who cared enough to let go of everything for just _one day_… Joey…"

Joey was now leaning in towards Rachel. She was still crying, but was now looking into his dark eyes. Slowly, he leaned in more, the voice in the back of his head saying, no, don't do it… but he was so _close_…

An instant later, his lips were touching hers, and she was kissing him back.

_I will make you happy_, he promised. _That's what Ross wants. You to be happy. _

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"Another one," Ross mumbled. The bartender glanced worriedly at him for an instant, and then handed him another shot glass filled with some unidentifiable amber liquid. Ross drained it and clunked the glass down again. Suddenly, he found himself talking to the old man, "You know, my kid was born today. And I wasn't there. Yeah, I'm having a kid with this woman who I fell in love with in high school, then we dated for a while, and then we broke up… We conceived a kid while we were on a trip that was supposed to be my honeymoon with someone else… I don't know what to do."

The bartender stared at him for a moment, then glanced around the near-empty pub and pulled up a stool. "Go on," he said roughly, sticking a toothpick between his teeth.

"So that's Rachel. Then about the same day we conceived, my other friend, Phoebe, died in a car crash. So about a month after that, my best friend, Chandler, moves to Philadelphia. Same day Rachel told me she was pregnant… anyway, Monica-"

"Who's Monica?"

"Little sister and one of my best friends. So anyway, Monica gets married to this ex-boyfriend of hers as soon as she gets back from London. So the next eight months go by, crappiest time of my life… today, baby's born. And I wasn't even _there_. She can't depend on me, so I didn't know what to do… I just want her to be happy, you know?"

The bartender's toothpick had fallen out of his mouth. After a moment, he said, "'Nother shot?"

Ross nodded, then stopped- the nodding was causing a loud banging in his head.

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There you are, Chapter 4. I was actually hoping to get to the "ten years later" part this chapter, but I wrote it and it worked this way, so probably next chapter. Please review, you know how much I love you when you do that… plus, lots of frozen raspberries to the best reviewer who bashes Richard!


	5. Chapter 5

I'm sorry if something doesn't make sense; but you've got to understand, I know what's happened, and I can't put it all in here, otherwise I'd shoot myself. (I don't own "Mr. Brightside" by the Killers, btw.) Don't forget about time-zone differences, people. If it's noon in NYC, it's 9 am in California.

Rachelgreengeller- Messing up people's lives is fun!

Fashion hottie- Ah poor Ross, he doesn't suck he's just confused.

LilMondlerLuver- Long time no see… couldn't agree more, I wish Chandler would poke him with a stick like he said he would in Vegas.

Dominique Hegdre- I make no promises about happy endings, sorry.

Chan4mon4evaeva- Oh, dear. I don't think you like Richard much.

Ruby Potter- Thanks, vacation sucked, though. You know when you make pudding there's that nasty skin on top? Well, instead of eating the pudding you just eat the skin and, ta-da: pudding skin singles.

And the raspberries go to…

Chan4mon4evaeva and LilMondlerLuver, because you make me laugh…. I don't know why.

(Approximately nine years later,

which is about ten years after the death of Phoebe Buffay)

Chapter 5

Seven-thirty a.m. eastern time.

Chandler Bing's radio alarm began, and his eyes slowly opened as the station it had been tuned in to began to play a song.

Chandler rolled over and faced the radio, rubbing his eyes and listening to the lyrics. It wasn't his taste in music, but it wasn't that bad, either. He tuned out the music and instead focused on his room. The white walls were covered in pictures drawn by his five-year-old daughter, Emily. Most of them were colorful scribbles- but one hung above his head that was different. It was a picture of a family in front of a huge yellow house with tall trees on every side. A child, who obviously portrayed Emily, stood in the middle of two adults, smiling brightly. On her left stood a man who was clearly Chandler; he even wore glasses like the real Chandler. On the right of the child was a woman; one that, curiously enough, was not blonde like her mother, Samantha Romfold. She had dark hair, and Chandler wasn't quite sure where Emily had gotten the impression that their family would include a dark-haired mother.

_Jealousy _

_Turning saints into the sea _

_Turning through sick lullaby _

_Joking on your alibi _

_But it's just the price I pay _

_Destiny is calling me _

_Open up my eager eyes _

_I'm Mr. Brightside _

Chandler shook himself as his ears tuned in the music again. Irritably, he hit the button and the music stopped. After a moment or so, he got out of bed and put on his glasses.

A small figure ran through his door, "Daddy!"

Chandler knelt down as Emily ran towards him and wrapped her small arms around his neck. He picked her up, "What are you doing up so early?"

"The music woke me up!"

"Ah, I see," Chandler said, rather distractedly, "You looking forward to going to Mommy's today?"

"To eat turkey!"

"That's right," Chandler said he carried her out of his bedroom and into the kitchen, "Today's Thanksgiving."

He placed her on the floor and she sat on a chair, "How come you don't come and eat turkey?"

Chandler sat next to her, "Daddy doesn't really like Thanksgiving."

"Why?"

He smiled at her, sighed, and stood up, walking to the sink, "Are you hungry? I can make you some breakfast."

Emily bobbed her head enthusiastically, "Eggs and bacon and sausage and ice cream and cookies and toast!"

He raised his eyebrow, "That's quite a breakfast."

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_"Ladies and gentlemen, we have now landed in the Los Angeles airport. It is 4:34 a.m." _

Ross Geller jolted awake as the stewardess clicked off the speaker. Ross certainly hated this early flight- but it was the only one available on Thanksgiving. The man next to him was still sleeping; his mouth was wide open and rumbling snores were emitting from him. Ross turned away and unbuckled as the plane stopped completely. He rubbed his eyes and opened the above compartment, taking out a briefcase. He joined the throng waiting to get off the plane.

He was going to see her again.

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"Are you ready to go?"

Emily nodded enthusiastically and Chandler opened the door. She hopped through, humming vaguely. Chandler grabbed his cell phone off the counter and followed her. He opened up the back door of the car and she scrambled in, buckling her seatbelt. He entered the driver's side and tossed his phone onto the passenger seat. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was 4:23. Less than eight hours, and this holiday was over. Thank God. Then they were off down the trafficked roads of suburban Philadelphia.

After 20 minutes or so, they reached their destination and pulled into a parking lot of an apartment building. With a sigh, Chandler got out and Emily followed, up the path to the grey building.

Back in the car, Chandler's cell phone began to ring.

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Monica Geller sat, motionless, on a chair in her kitchen. _Thirty-nine_, she thought. _I am thirty nine. I'm almost forty. I should have a life. I should have a husband, or at least a boyfriend, I should have kids, or at least the possibility of kids… I should have a future… or at least the possibility of a future. _

_A future with someone else. Not just me. Not just a 39-year-old divorced mom who lives in an apartment with so many memories that she want to tear down the walls, but at the same time can't leave because that would hurt so much… not just some almost-40-year-old who hasn't had a date, much less _sex_ in two years… _

"I have Daniel," she whispered.

It was true. Daniel, her eight-year-old son, was in her life constantly. He _was_ her life, to tell the truth. Everything was done because of him- keeping happy during the day so that he didn't see her cry like she did at night, staying at work, not completely giving up. But right now, at this very instant, she had nothing. Daniel was at Richard's for Thanksgiving, and Monica was stuck here, in this memory-drenched apartment, eating a grilled-cheese sandwich instead of helpings of turkey, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce.

Why a grilled-cheese sandwich, she wasn't sure. She'd just had a craving for it- or maybe it had something to do with that damned photo album that she couldn't bear to throw away. That stupid photo album that had pictures of them- Ross, Chandler, Rachel, Phoebe, and herself. She hated herself for not being able to throw it away, because it hurt whenever she flipped through the pages- but yet, she continued to. And she wondered what the others were doing at that same moment that she was looking at them, not in the present, but in the wonderful, almost carefree past imprinted in the pictures.

She willed herself not to cry. Today was about giving thanks…

But what was she thankful for?

Daniel, certainly. Her brother, Ross, even though they had drifted apart immensely. In fact, she was even sadder than she usually was at Thanksgiving- Ross was always here. _Always_. But this year, he'd gone to L.A., and she missed out on seeing her brother on one of the few times he did visit.

What else, what else, what else… Rachel and Joey, who she was still in contact with. Barely. Her apartment, she supposed, and maybe Richard. No, change that, she wasn't thankful for him at all…

Suddenly, she grabbed the phone and dialed the number she had memorized ten years ago. Tears were running down her cheeks as she got the voicemail. When it beeped, she began, "It's… it's Monica… I didn't know who else to call…"

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_Ding-dong. _

Rachel rushed down the stairs of her small townhouse, followed by her nine-year-old daughter, Phoebe. The girl's reddish-blonde braids hung limply at the back of her head as she reached the front door with her mother. Rachel opened the door, "Joey! And you brought a whole pie! Didn't you get hungry walking across the street?"

Joey grinned back and came inside, closing the door. "I had two, but I ate most of the first one on the way over," he explained.

"Joey!" Phoebe said, "Do you like my braids? Mom styled them for me!"

Joey turned to the girl, "Do I like them? I love them, your mom did a great job!"

Phoebe grinned toothily and twirled to show off her beauty. Then she ran upstairs again. Rachel and Joey watched her until she disappeared, and then turned back to each other, "So, talk to Chandler today?"

Joey shrugged as they walked into the kitchen, "Chandler barely ever calls, do you really expect to say 'hi' on the day he hates?"

"You've got a point," Rachel admitted. Then she brightened up, "Oh, well… want macaroni and cheese?"

"The Annual Tribbiani and Green Thanksgiving Dinner Food?" Joey asked, "Yeah!"

Rachel smiled and brought out three boxes from the pantry, "I was thinking about putting little cut-up hotdogs in it too!"

"This is my kind of Thanksgiving!" Joey said excitedly, sitting down at the small table.

"I thought you said you had to work today," Rachel said as she sat across from him.

"I got out of it," Joey explained with a spark in his eye, "The director's…"

Rachel nodded, "Your girlfriend, right?"

"Yeah, first serious relationship since… us."

"Well, I'm glad for you," Rachel said, ignoring any awkwardness in that last statement. It was true they'd been married- but it didn't exactly work out and divorce was the answer. Rachel had worried that they wouldn't be able to be friends afterward; but as it had turned out, Joey was perfectly fine with being friends and came over at least twice a week, more if he wasn't busy with his hit TV sitcom, _Getting There_.

Joey was about to say something else when a _ding-dong_ rang throughout the house.

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A little bit shorter than usual, but I didn't want to go any further. Uhm… yeah next chapter should be lots of fun (maybe not literally). It should be up soon… if you're confused about anything, please say so, though after next chapter you shouldn't be. I'm thinking 2-3 more chapters, but that's not definite at all (it all depends on how far I want to take this). I know a lot of this chapter was Chandler and Monica, but next chapter should be more even (sorry if I favor Mondler over R/R sometimes… I'm a bigger Mondler fan). Please review, you totally make my day when you do that. Seriously.


	6. Chapter 6

I realize there may be some confusion, so here's an overall review of the story so far:

**Monica and Chandler slept together in London, but Richard called the next morning and Monica said yes, she'd marry him. Chandler all upset. Ross and Rachel go on what was Emily and Ross's honeymoon. They have sex. Back in NYC, Phoebe is in a car accident and is killed. Joey, Monica, and Chandler find this out when they come home. (One month later) Chandler moves to Philadelphia and meets Samantha Romfield on the plane. Rachel tells Ross she's pregnant. Ross debates whether or not to stay in her life. (Eight months later) Rachel is in labor. Chandler comes back to NYC for the birth. Ross tells Rachel he wants to be there for her, she can't believe he waited so long and says she can't depend on him. Monica and Chandler yell, she tells him she's pregnant and he says he's living with Samantha Romfield. Joey slips that Monica and Chandler had sex in London to Richard. Chandler leaves. After the baby is born, Joey kisses Rachel. Ross is at a bar, getting drunk. (Nine years later) Chandler has a five-year-old, Emily, and is divorced from Samantha. Joey and Rachel were married, then divorced. They're friends and live in L.A. (she has Phoebe, her nine-year-old daughter). Ross is on his way to L.A. Monica's having an angst moment and she calls someone. **

I hope that clears up any confusion. If you knew that already, sorry…

AN: I know how it's going to end! I've never done that with a story before! Believe me, you're all in good hands… um, well, not really. But have no worries. As for Chandler's facial hair in this chapter- it's like one of those things where there's bristles coming down from his sideburns and the beginning of a beard and mustache (but a cool one, unlike Richard's). It's really cute; Matthew Perry had it before if you've seen pictures of him with it. I have no clue what it's called.

Thanks for the reviews, you all rock my world. And yes, it is odd that no one's eating Thanksgiving food. Times are approximately: Rachel's 6:30, Monica's9:30

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Chapter 6

Chandler slammed the car door shut and buckled back in, ready for the traffic. So it wasn't his favorite thing in the world; it was still a hell of a lot better than sitting in an over-crowded room filled with people he didn't like, talking about things that didn't interest him, eating food that brought back bad memories of divorces and projectile vomiting, and generally having a good time. Sighing, he picked up his cell phone and flicked it on- he might as well say hi to Joey- and frowned as his voicemail blinked. Who could have called him in the few moments during which he'd dropped Emily off at her mother's apartment?

He played the message, and his eyes widened as a voice he recognized through the sounds of her crying, began:

_"It's… It's Monica… I didn't know who else to call… This is so stupid… Haven't… haven't seen you for nine… nine years… I'm still at my old apartment, too, what does that say… about me… about not being able to… to… to let go…" _

The message ended and Chandler held the cell phone in front of himself, his mouth open, Joey completely driven from his thoughts.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ross stood in front of the townhouse's door, his hands in his pockets and glancing nervously around, hoping that she was there.

Suddenly, the door opened and two people stood in front of him, looks of shock on their faces as they recognized him.

The first one he saw was Rachel herself. She was as beautiful as he remembered her from those nine years ago; her hair was still strawberry with highlights of blonde and fell down to her shoulders, although a few gray hairs could be seen poking through. Her mouth was slightly open as she realized that she was seeing him, the father of her child who'd abandoned her, leaving only Joey to protect her.

Ross's eyes moved to the right, and saw that a little behind Rachel in the shadows was Joey himself. He hadn't changed much; a single gray hair was pushed flat into the black and there were some light bags under his dark eyes. Other than that, the only difference that Ross noticed were the bristles beginning to form a goatee.

"Ross?" Rachel whispered, her bright eyes welling with tears. She clasped a hand over her mouth and a tear trickled down her cheek as she looked, unbelievably, at the father of Phoebe Green-Geller.

"Rach?" Ross murmured and moved forward. Joey watched as both slowly walked towards each other and, after a moment of silence, pulled each other into the tightest hug he'd ever seen, crying like there was no tomorrow.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

. Chandler was looking at a door he hadn't seen in more than nine years.

_I'm not here again_, he tried to assure himself. _I'm not back here. This is all a nightmare, that phone call was a dream… she doesn't _really_ live here… it isn't possible… and if she does… why would I bring that on myself to see her again? _

But he had such an urge to see her again. He was yearning to listen to her talk, or laugh, or cry, or whatever it was she did these days… he hadn't seen her since that day in the hospital, when he'd just walked into that elevator without even saying goodbye… why would she call him, after what he did?

After London, after Richard, after the death of Phoebe, and after he moved to Philadelphia… he'd been a complete jerk, and not just to her, to all of them… why the _hell_ would anyone want to talk to him?

He didn't have an answer to his own question, and there was only one way to find out.

Nervously, he knocked on the door of apartment 20.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Why…?" Rachel began, but her voice drifted off as more tears fell from her eyes and onto Ross's shirt. She gripped him harder, not really believing that it could possibly be him.

"I… I wanted to see you… and her…"

Rachel detached herself from Ross and looked at him, her hands over her mouth. She slowly lowered them, "R-Really?"

"Yeah," he said softly, "I need to meet my daughter."

Rachel seemed momentarily stunned. Her eyes were red from crying and she looked on the brink of starting again. She was biting down on her lower lip and looking at Ross with an unreadable expression. Finally, she said, "But… but why _now_?"

Ross shrugged, his own eyes still filled with tears. He wiped his nose on the back of his coat sleeve, "I don't know, Rach."

"You… you don't know what?" she asked, almost dreading the answer. Once before he'd said 'I don't know' to her and things had screwed up from that moment on; she wasn't ready to be screwed over again by him.

"I don't know why it took me so long. Rach, I love you so much, and I'm sure I love our kid… I just needed to see both of you so bad right now."

With a very small "Oh" of surprise, Rachel turned around and disappeared into the house. She ran into the kitchen, the tears flowing again, and picked up the phone, dialing a number. It rang, but no one picked up, "Come on, Mon, pick up, pick up, I know you're there…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Monica opened the door and found herself face-to-face with the man who'd ran away nine years ago, without bothering to try and fix the things that had gotten screwed up.

After a few seconds of silence, Chandler said nervously, obviously attempting to act like his former carefree self, "Oh, I get it, you don't recognize me… yeah, I have glasses now and I've got these weird bristles all over my face, half because I wanted a change from having no bristles and half because I didn't feel like shaving… but it's still Chandler, even if I have bristles and glasses… you see, I've got the glasses so that I can see distance, and now I can see you clearer… well, you look the same, no bristles for you, I guess, but you could always-"

"Chandler?"

"Shut up?"

"Exactly."

Chandler gave her a small smile, "I still haven't mastered the fine art of learning to shut up."

"I can tell."

They stood for a few minutes, not looking directly at each other, but glancing around, mostly at each other's feet. Suddenly, the phone began to ring and their head snapped up and they shared eye contact for the first time in nine years.

After a few rings, Chandler said pointedly, "Your phone's ringing."

"I know."

"Are you going to pick it up?"

"No."

"That's your choice, I guess."

"Yeah, it is," she murmured as the ringing stopped. She focused on Chandler's eyes. Behind the glasses were the eyes that she suddenly recognized- the ones from London, from the time when they went to the beach, the ones that had been there when he'd promised to marry her when they were both 40 when Ben had been born… they weren't the same ones she'd last seen at the hospital… they were much warmer, friendlier than those…

Suddenly, Chandler took a step toward Monica.

"W-what are you doing?"

"You look like you're going to cry again."

"But what are you doing?"

"I guess… I was going to hug you."

"But… only friends hug. We're… we're not friends."

"Oh… right. Not friends."

"Not us."

"No… not us."

"We were."

"Not now."

There was another awkward moment and Monica took a step back, "Do you want to… come… in?"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"So…"

Joey's hands were in his pockets and he was looking at Ross nervously, as though afraid he was going to explode, "Ross-"

Ross walked into the townhouse and closed the door, turning back to Joey, "What?"

"We kind of need to talk."

Ross nodded vaguely and looked down at his feet, "So… what's up with you?"

Joey gave him a hard look, "Not _that_ kind of talk."

"Then why don't you start?"

Joey sighed and was about to start when Phoebe ran down the stairs and walked over to the two men, "Who are you?"

Ross looked away from Joey and focused on the nine-year-old, speechless as he looked at her, "I'm… I'm your dad."

Phoebe rolled her eyes, "No you're not. He is."

Ross's mouth opened and he looked at Joey angrily.

"She's never seen you… what do you expect?" Joey asked quietly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

So there's Chapter 6. I've been catching up with the Freak Table so it's in later than usual, but it's still there. Next chapter is going to one of my favorites to write, I can already tell. Please review… and I have a question. If you could pick between one of the guys (or girls, if you're a guy), which one would you pick? I'd pick Chandler of course, but I'm curious to see what you'd say.

P.S. I need a vote: 1) a funny Mondler story about how Chandler makes up for lying to Mon after "TOW Unagi" or 2) an AU pre-Mondler story about Chandler's hidden feelings? or 3) Monica and Chandler secretly adopt (R/R, too)

Which one should I write?


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Most unfortunately, my eighth grade teachers have decided to bombard me with summer assignments, which means less time writing. Fortunately, I love Mondler and R/R and Joey and Phoebe, so I'm still writing this. But if you're in the middle of a sentence and Chandler suddenly starts talking about the Declaration of Independence, that's just Mondler and history class melding together.

I also owe those wonderful Mondler fans a lot. The last two chapters sucked in the Mondler department; Chapter 5 had no Mon-Chan scenes, and 6 was just plain sad. But you're suffering now… maybe not later. As for stubble vs. bristles argument- ah well, you knew what I meant.

I was in Bermuda for a week on "family vacation"- and didn't have access to the internet:gasp: But I'm back now, and I expect to be done this by the end of the week. :cries: Oh, and I was reading and analyzing the new Harry Potter book, so that was exciting… Snape is good, I tell you!

Mmmm Unbetaed, just thought I'd remind you all. Sorry for mistakes!

Chapter 7

"So…" Chandler walked into the apartment and Monica closed the door, not looking directly at him, "What's… up?"

It sounded distinctly lame and unimpressive; the fact that after nine years, the best he could come up was something a 15-year-old was more likely to say. Shouldn't he have something exciting or interesting to say? Shouldn't they have hugged, or shook hands, or cried? And, why, _why _was he getting the feeling that she celebrated Thanksgiving every year in much the same way that he did: alone, in a dark room, eating anything but turkey?

"Not…" Monica began, and folded her arms and crossed to the other side of the table, facing Chandler, who was lingering somewhere near the door, "Never mind, that would've sounded stupid… I was going to say 'not much', but that doesn't really fit, does it?"

"Uh… no… probably not," Chandler said uncomfortably. After a moment of so of silence, he began to walk around the apartment. He stopped every once in a while, "It looks pretty much the same."

"New couch."

"The excitement of furniture," Chandler murmured, and stopped dead at the coffee table. "You know how many times I put my feet on there, even though you hated it when we did that?"

Monica shook her head.

Chandler gave her a small smile. "At least a hundred times, and I-" he cut short his statement as he picked up a picture frame. Inside was a photo of a grinning boy, "Your kid?"

Monica nodded and slowly walked over to the living area and leaned over couch to see the picture, "Yeah, that's Daniel. On his seventh birthday."

"He's got your nose," Chandler commented, squinting down the picture.

"My nose?" Monica said, as though she hadn't believed her ears.

"Yeah, yeah, see? Here, it goes up a bit… I even see a little booger-"

"Chandler!" Monica exclaimed in a tone that, to Chandler, sounded so much like it used to before the accident he almost felt as though the past ten years had been a dream. She walked around the couch and stood next to him, snatching the frame out of his hands and staring at it. She frowned, and placed it back on the table.

"You see the booger, don't you?" Chandler said, a grin creeping up on his face. He hadn't felt that grin for a long, long time.

"Do you… do you want something to eat?" Monica asked quietly.

"As long as the pilgrims didn't eat it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Rachel came rushing out of the kitchen, annoyed that Monica hadn't picked up her phone. The one time she needed serious advice, her once-best-friend wasn't there. She walked into the hall, where Ross stood just several inches from the door, staring at Joey unbelievably. Joey was looking up at the stairs and her daughter, Phoebe, was looking between the two men, sensing that something was deeply wrong.

"What's going on?" Rachel asked Joey slowly, but it was Phoebe who answered.

"This guy says he's my dad. I said _he_ was," Phoebe added, pointing at Joey.

Rachel's face fell as Ross turned to her. "Can I talk to you?" he asked angrily. She nodded and led him to the kitchen, where he burst out, "You told her _Joey_ was her dad! I can't believe this! She's my-"

"Stop it, Ross!" Rachel interrupted, tears welling up in her eyes once again as she looked up at him and saw how furious he was, "I never told her who her father was, alright! I guess she just assumed… I guess she just thought it was Joey, I mean… he's the one who's been here for us all along, you- you haven't."

She said this in a very small voice and continued to look up at Ross. Expecting him to yell some more, she was surprised when he sighed and looked around distractedly, not quite meeting her eye, "I know… I'm sorry about that."

She was stunned, "About- about what?"

"About not being here," he began, "About leaving you with our kid on your own, about never visiting, or calling, or writing… I'm sorry that everything got so… so screwed up."

A single tear trickled down Rachel's face; quite suddenly, she imagined she was looking a different man than the one she'd thought somewhat bitterly of these past years. He seemed to have genuinely changed and was looking at her in a way she'd never seen him look before; regret of his past actions was written all over his 40-year-old features. Finally, with more tears coming, she was able to get out, "It- it… it took two people… two people to screw it up."

And, in an action of mutual feeling, both moved in towards each other, pulling the other into a hug. Tears fell down both their faces, and Rachel put her face against his chest, wondering what could have gone wrong. After several moments of quiet, Ross murmured into her ear, "We're going to fix this."

Rachel nodded against his chest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A lump was rising in Chandler's throat as he pushed a pea around his plate with his fork. Perhaps it was just being back here, in this apartment; the lump doubled in size and he fought back something that he thought might be sadness mixed with elation- an odd combination, but in this scenario, it seemed to make sense.

Slowly, he looked back up at Monica- who hadn't eaten anything- and then looked back down again, staring at that ever-elusive pea. Very quietly, he asked the question he'd been pondering since he'd begun driving from Philadelphia, "Why did you call me?"

She looked up and didn't answer him for a few moments. Then she finally said, "I don't know."

"You must've had _some _reason."

"Not really."

"You could have called… Ross."

Monica shook her head, "He went to L.A."

Chandler dropped his fork and it fell with a clatter, but he ignored it; instead, he gaped at Monica and said in a hushed voice, "Ross went… he went to…"

"Yeah," Monica said (in a voice that seemed almost glum), "He went to see Rachel… and Phoebe."

A funny jolt shook Chandler's stomach as he heard the name; he knew it was in reference to Ross and Rachel's daughter, but it still brought back the pain back with an unpleasant bump.

Monica seemed to feel the same way; or at least she sensed Chandler felt uncomfortable because she changed the subject, "So… what have you been up to? I mean, when I talk to Ross, he says you're fine…"

"I don't talk to Ross much," Chandler said quietly, but Monica continued on.

"And then I talk to Rachel, who talks to Joey, obviously, who talks to you… he says you're fine, too, but I guess I just didn't believe them, because I'm not fine, though I- I don't know why you wouldn't be…"

Her head fell into her hands but she made no other noise. He watched her cautiously as he began to answer her question, "I've only got bad news, so you're not alone on the 'not fine' boat…"

She looked up and smiled weakly, "Depressing news… sounds good…"

He gave her a weak smile in return and sighed, "Okay… well, I've been married and divorced twice, and to the same person-"

"That Samantha person?"

Chandler's mouth popped open automatically; how had she known that? "Well… yeah…" he admitted. "But how-?"

"You told me when Rachel had her baby."

"And you…" the words were stuck in his throat; he couldn't believe that she'd remembered what his girlfriend's name had been after nine years, couldn't believe that she would call him, of all people… surely she had new friends, ones that hadn't left her when she'd needed comfort and support the most…

"Tell me more depressing news…" Monica murmured, her eyes now closed.

"I-I have a daughter," he said softly, and suddenly he found himself staring at Monica, taking in for what it seemed the first time, her dark hair… hair so similar to hair of the mother his daughter had drawn in the picture of what she imagined her family would be like…

"W- what's her name?" she asked, her voice becoming quieter and quieter.

"Emily," Chandler answered, his own voice so soft that it was almost non-existent; he was afraid that it might be cracking, as his eyes were unexpectedly welling with tears.

Monica slowly opened her own watery eyes and looked at him, "You- you called her Emily?"

He nodded, unable to say anything else.

"Why… how come…" her voice trailed off, and then stopped completely. She stood up and walked over to the cabinet and silently took out a glass. She walked to the sink, but before she reached it, she began to shake, and she dropped the cup. With a shattering sound, the glass exploded into hundreds of pieces all over the kitchen floor, and then she began to sob.

He hesitated at the table as she shook uncontrollably, tears flowing down her face. Then he stood and slowly walked over to her, the glass cracking under his shoes. For a few seconds, he simply looked down at her- and then his bubble of emotion that had hidden deep inside him since that plane ride back to New York, from London, burst.

His own tears streamed from his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. A bitter resentment roared like a caged lion let free at long last as he realized he'd never cried for everything that had happened- for Phoebe, for losing Monica to Richard, for separating himself from his friends, for losing Samantha twice, for letting Emily grow up without a real family, whether it be one with her real mother, or a mother that she imagined, with a head of dark hair… he had never cried for all of this and so much more…

He was vaguely aware that Monica's arms had automatically moved around his neck; her head rested on his chest and had pressed her body against his… and suddenly, he felt like they were one person.

"Chandler…" she murmured, "I missed you…"

He pulled her closer and said so quietly that he wasn't even sure if it had been said aloud, "I missed you too."

XXXXXXXXXXX

An uncomfortable silence hung in the air between the two men. Ross wasn't looking directly at Joey; instead, he was looking somewhere past him, out of the window, where cars zoomed by.

Finally, Ross spoke, "Joey?"

"Yeah?"

"Why… why did you marry her?"

Joey had been expecting this question; it would only be natural for Ross to ask. When Rachel had suggested that they talk alone, he had dreading Ross asking this question, but he knew he must give the answer, even if it made Ross hate himself and Joey more, "You said you wanted her to be happy… and you weren't there, when she was holding the baby… and she didn't think she'd be happy with you… so I thought maybe I could make her happy. Then… then my life wouldn't be completely wasted, right? I mean, we all drifted apart after… after the accident… and I wanted you to be happy for Rachel, and I didn't want her to be alone…"

He drifted off and looked away from Ross's piercing stare. He was expecting Ross to yell, to scream at him for taking away Rachel, but instead, Ross merely said, "Oh." He seemed to be considering Joey for a minute, "So… you did it because… because you thought that's what I wanted?"

Joey's mouth opened and then closed, thinking of his answer. This was his one time to receive forgiveness for marrying Rachel; his one chance to talk to Ross, to let him know how sorry he was.

But then, he thought, it was also his one chance to tell the whole truth. "Partly."

"What does that mean?" Ross asked slowly.

"I mean…" Joey paused, and then went on, "I married her because you wanted her to be happy, and she needed support, a friend… but Ross, you just left her on her own-"

"Don't blame that on me, she said she didn't want me!" Ross growled.

"I know," Joey said calmly, and then sighed, "Ross… why didn't you come back before now?"

"She was with you."

Joey shook his head, and suddenly he was out of his seat, "Ross, the only reason she was with me was because you weren't in that damn waiting room!"

"She didn't _want _me there!" Ross shouted, and found himself jumping to his feet, blood pumping in his ears.

"Damn it, Ross, don't you get it! You gave up so damn quickly that she didn't think you were sincere! She wanted you, why do you think our marriage didn't work out? She wanted Phoebe to grow up with a real family, she wanted the father! That's you!"

"She said she didn't want me that day, while she was waiting! She-she said I wasn't dependable-"

Joey was annoyed and angry that Ross didn't see, didn't understand what Rachel had gone through these past ten years… he'd kept this resentment at his friend inside himself for too long… it had to break through…

"You've been a bastard for, what, nine years? Of course you're not dependable, you left her- the person you fell in love with in high school- with a kid! You can't blame me for marrying her- I've been here, by her side, the WHOLE FRICKING TIME! YOU HAVEN'T! BUT YOU STILL DON'T SEE IT! RACHEL HUGGED YOU WHEN SHE SAW YOU AT THAT DOOR, SHE COULD HAVE SLAMMED IT IN YOUR FACE! SHE'S FORGIVEN YOU!"

Ross hadn't expected this explosion from Joey, who'd stayed remarkably calm before; Ross blinked and looked at the man across from him in confusion, "No… she can't have forgiven me… what I did, it can't be forgiven…"

"That's where you're wrong! Rachel told you she couldn't depend on you- and she couldn't, could she? But Ross, you're here now, and you love her… don't you?" Joey added nervously, his voice quieter, his face pale.

For a full minute, Ross stared him in the eye. Did he love her? Something erupted in his chest as he saw her, years and years ago, breaking up with him when he'd slept with another woman… something stirred in his heart, something that had been forced to keep quiet for years… tears were once again in his dark eyes as Rachel and their daughter entered the room to see what the ruckus was.

Then, as though on orders, he spun away from Joey's gaze and found the concerned-looking Rachel. As he walked forward, he was aware of nothing but her- and scenes flashed before his mind, each reminding him that it was she he had loved for years upon years… their kiss after watching the prom video… their first time having sex… that terrible "let's go on a break" moment, when a chunk of his heart had been ripped out… their night in Greece… he saw her hand smacking away his when she had a contraction….

"Rach…" he murmured, so close to her that he could feel heat radiating off her suddenly extraordinarily still body, "I should never had let go… I should have kept trying… we- we supposed to be… supposed to be…"

Then, in a moment of prefect, mutual understanding, Rachel closed the gap between them.

With every fiber of his being, Ross kissed her back, and promised to himself to never again let of this woman... he was going to be by her side for the rest of their lives…

"We're supposed to be lobsters," he whispered against her lips, and she smiled, knowing that everything, screwed up as it might be, would be all right.

XXXXXXXXX

Awww I hope I wrote that Joey and Ross scene okay, it was kind of forced… but they're not my forte (neither is Ross/Rachel, so baahhh if that was bad as well). Chandler and Monica hmm finally hug…. And no, I'm not done. One more chapter, then, I promise you, you can all stop reading this story! It'll be shorter, but…. Mmmm… yay! Reviewing rocks my socks as much as Lupin does (he's so cuddly!)!


	8. Chapter 8

**Shhh! No more HBP spoilers in reviews, please! (And don't read the reviews if you haven't read the book!) **

Anyway. It's my last chapter. :cries: I just want to say thanks for all of the reviews and support for this story; you're all my heroes for making me update and continue to write. This has been one of my favorite stories to write and develop, and all because of you. If no one reviewed, I wouldn't have continued. But you guys did review, and I guess I'm just trying to say thanks a billion. :cries some more: Love you all! All readers get some bent staples! And some pudding skin singles! I'm going to miss writing this, as depressing as it is, and I'm going to miss you all. You're the best readers ever… you're polite, funny, enthusiastic, and helpful. Again- LOVE YOU:hugs:

Special love goes to the reviewers who've been there since the beginning (or at least early in the story). You guys made my month… months… whatever… when did I start this:rhetorical: Anyway… Oh, and thank you rachelgreengeller (omg I love your name!) for your compliment in the last review. I personally think I suck at R/R, so your review meant a lot. And thank you Lauren (greenish orange) for the uber-long review, it made me happy because I'm a huge fan of your fics.

Oh. Chapter 3, when Rach says she "moves out". I cut this out, but you see: Mon and Richard lived together (since they got married), and Rach lived with Ross for a month. So… yeah. Sorry for any confusion, but I just caught that.

This chapter is, well… happier. I mean, it's still sad… but definitely happier. Oh, how I love clichés. And I know how I said it would be shorter… but it's not! It's longer!

XXXXXXXXX

Chapter 8

Monica held on to Chandler tightly, her eyes shut, though tears managed to force their way out. His arms had formed a protective shield around her, making her feel, for the first time in years, that no harm could come to her. One of his arms was wrapped securely around her lower back, and his right hand was gently stroking her hair, and he was murmuring something inaudible, but still indescribably comforting.

"Chandler…" she drifted off softly, and clung tighter to his shirt.

"Yes?" he said, just as quietly.

"Do you think… maybe we can…"

Chandler waited a moment before prompting her quietly, "Can…?"

Monica pulled a little bit closer to his chest and opened her eyes against his shirt, "Maybe… someday… it'll all be better. Do you think… do you think we can… we can fix it? Do you ever think…" she paused and took a deep breath, "that maybe one day we'll all be back to together? Ross and Rachel… their P-Phoebe… Joey… and you and me."

"Mon…" Chandler found that his voice was choked back from emotion, from the possibility that one day he would be reunited with the people his heart ached for.

"Mon, I think about that… I think it about it every single day I'm alive."

Stifled sobs came from Monica. Chandler held her even closer, and swayed back and forth on the balls of his feet, trying not to cry. It took all he had not to fall apart, but he knew he had to stand strong- both for her, and for himself.

Regret was filling every pore of his body, overwhelming him, making it ever harder not to break down. He should have known, years ago, that there was nowhere else he was supposed to be than here, in this little New York apartment. Every instinct that had told him to turn around when he'd driven up here after the phone call was now gone, replaced by a deep sense of nostalgia.

And as he held the woman he'd left without a goodbye nine years ago to his chest, knew there was no place else he'd rather be.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sometimes, things just go right in life.

After years upon years of living hell, after failed relationships and deaths of loved ones, and after waking up numerous mornings to the feeling he should just be _dead_, Ross Geller finally felt that something had gone right.

And it wasn't just anything that had gone right; it was something better than he could have ever imagined; something so wonderful it took his breath away and made him feel like he'd never die, simply because he was so elated that he must already be in heaven.

It was that kiss.

It took a while for Ross and Rachel to finally break apart, and, when they finally did, she embraced him for the third time that day, tears of joy leaking out of her eyes. Her arms were now wrapped around his neck, and she was looking over his shoulder, directly at Joey, smiling almost nervously.

He flashed her a grin, and she closed her eyes, allowing herself to melt into Ross.

"Mom?"

It wasn't a disgusted or angry voice, but a quiet, questioning one. Slowly, Rachel parted herself from Ross, and both turned to face the nine-year-old standing next to Joey, looking dumbfounded at her mother's behavior. Rachel nearly laughed at the situation, thinking of how odd this must seem to her little girl, Phoebe: her usually composed and sophisticated mother, kissing a random man, who also claimed to be the girl's father.

Rachel walked to the confused girl and smiled, "This is Ross."

"Ross who?"

"Ross Geller."

"Oh… how come you kissed him?"

"We were in love a long time ago, and now…" she wiped away another tear, and Ross came forward and put an arm around her shoulder as she continued, "Now… we're in love again."

Phoebe looked between Ross and Rachel uncertainly, as though she weren't sure she should trust this new man who claimed to her father. Then, after a moment of silence, she said a little nervously, "So… you were on a break from being in love?"

Rachel began to bawl again at this statement, and pulled her daughter into a hug, "That's- that's exactly what happened…"

Phoebe, perplexed by her mother's emotional behavior, hugged her back. Ross found himself drawn into the group embrace, and held both of them close, realizing that, for the first time, he was holding his family.

Joey stood at the side of the trio, a tear leaking out of his right eye, his arms crossed. He was fighting the insane urge to grin, to laugh, to dance. _This_ was the way _his_ Phoebe had wanted things- Ross and Rachel, happy together, having finally realized that there could be no one else for them.

Then, he felt a hand tug on his arm; Ross was looking at him, misty-eyed, all enmity between the two forgotten. He pulled Joey close and whispered hoarsely into his ear, "Thanks, man. You kept her happy… that was more than I could do."

And Joey no longer fought his urge; he grinned at Ross and was pulled into the hug, knowing that there was only one thing left to do.

"We've got to go," he said suddenly, his voice rather muffled seeing as he was being squashed by three other people.

"Go where?" Phoebe asked curiously, looking up at Joey. She was the only one not crying, and he couldn't blame her; she really had no idea the enormity of what had just happened. He suddenly felt an upsurge of affection for the young girl he had treated as his own daughter for nine years; reaching out and touching one of the braids she had so proudly displayed only hours ago, he replied, "Go to New York."

Rachel looked up at him with a very small frown and wiped her nose on her sleeve, "W-why?"

Ross held her even closer as Joey answered quietly, "I want to visit the grave."

XXXXXXX

Chandler wasn't quite sure what to say. That he loved her? That he had _always_ loved her? That he should have never left? It all seemed so ridiculous, so cliché; man falls in love with woman, doesn't see her for many years, and then confesses his undying love for her. Well, his story fit the formula alright- it was just a matter of the ending.

In fairy tales, everything turned out okay. The hero came back, bloody from some battle, and swept the fair maiden off her feet. Proposals of marriage were the most used 'happily ever after' endings; passionate kisses were usually part of the deal, too.

But Chandler Bing didn't live in a fairy tale land.

He lived in a very real world, one where people were torn away from him by death and trauma. One where he was most certainly not a brave knight in a shining armor and one where the fair maiden was not looking up him with eyes burning love and passion, but one where that fair maiden was holding him tightly, her head buried into his shirt. She wasn't crying anymore, but somehow, the air seemed sadder and more poignant than before.

And then, it seemed quite clear to him how the ending would go.

He would be himself. He'd hold back, just as he held back the day they came back from London when Monica had shot him the question: "_Do you see anyone else who would make me just as happy as Richard?" _When he should have answered with a kiss, should have told her he would do anything for her, if only she would ask, if only she would give some indication that she needed him, even if she wouldn't admit it.

But he hadn't kissed her, hadn't said all those things he should have.

Looking back, he realized all he had were 'should-haves', 'could-have-beens', and 'what-ifs'. Regrets up into the thousands, dozens of suicidal thoughts…

That was when he decided it was going to change.

He wasn't just going to drive home, back to that depressing apartment in Philadelphia and pretend like he was living a life he wanted to live. He was going to do the thing he'd wanted to do for ten long years, just as much for himself as for his daughter, Emily; she deserved a real family, not the broken pieces of one she had right now. She deserved more than a distracted father and a partying mother; she deserved a family that included a dark-haired mother, just like one she had drawn.

"Monica, I have to talk to you about something."

The words were out of his mouth before he knew it.

"What's that?" she said quietly.

He took a deep breath and separated himself from Monica. He looked into her eyes, the eyes he knew from so long ago. "Come back with me."

Confusion was written on her face as she frowned up at him, "What?"

"There has to be a reason you called me. Me, of all people! There's got to be a _reason_ I felt I _had _to be here today! After- after London, when you told me you were marrying Richard? I thought I lost you forever, but now… look, the relationships that we thought would last until we died are over! They're over, leaving us free to look back at the past, to fix the mistakes! So… so come to Philadelphia with me, Monica! I… I think I need you. I think I've always needed you… I just never realized it until now. "

His right hand immediately darted out and grabbed the counter for support as he finished his passionate speech, watching Monica for any signs of rejection. Her head was turned away and her hand was massaging her forehead. Finally, she looked up at him once again, tears shining in her eyes, "I can't, Chandler. I just… can't."

His stomach turned over and did a series of flip-flops. This was not how this was supposed to go…

"Why not?" he croaked, his own eyes tearing up.

"Because… I have a son. Daniel. I can't leave him… even for… for… but if you could come to New York…"

Chandler understood immediately; of course she couldn't just leave her son. "I can't. I've got Emily."

"Okay then. I guess… that's it," she said quietly, trying to sound business-like, but her voice cracked as a tear fell down her cheek.

"That's it," he repeated, wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve. Something had told him this would work, that she was the _one_- but now, it was all _wrong._ She was supposed to come, or he was supposed to stay; they were supposed to be together, he knew it, somewhere in his heart. But his heart must have been wrong, because now things were even more messed up than before. With a brave, deep breath, he said, "I'm… I'm going to go find a hotel… and drive back to Philadelphia tomorrow… so I guess this is… this is goodbye."

She nodded but didn't say anything; she was looking away from him, into the room that had once been Rachel's. He walked towards the door, not allowing himself to break down just yet. And he opened the door, turning back to Monica one last time. "Monica?"

"Yes?"

"I… I love you."

And before he could hear her response, he was gone.

Monica sunk to the floor, letting her sobs run free.

XXXXXXXXXX

Joey was amazed they had managed to get seats on a plane to New York on Thanksgiving Day at the last minute. Of course, the fact that he was a celebrity might have helped; but he still considered it a miracle.

It was like it was all falling into place.

Ross and Rachel sat a few rows ahead, talking quietly, privately. He knew they weren't talking dirty or romantic- he knew of the many times Rachel had dreamed to simply tell Ross all about their daughter, Phoebe. Her goals, her accomplishments, her utter longing to work in fashion like her mother.

The nine-year-old sat next to Joey, calmly listening to a CD player. He was stunned that she didn't seem more frightened that her mother had suddenly dragged her onto a plane to New York to see the tombstone of a person ten years dead.

She noticed him looking at her and stopped her CD player, "What?"

"Nothing," he replied.

"C'mon, what?"

"It's just… you don't seem scared."

"Why should I be scared?"

Joey shrugged, "I don't know. Some random guy comes to say he's your father, then he kisses your mother, and you're going on a plane to the other side of the country in one day. I'd be freaked out. I _am _a little freaked out."

Phoebe looked into his eyes and smiled, "I trust Mom, and I trust you. I know everything will be fine… and I'm a little freaked out too."

Joey nodded as she turned her CD player back on. He closed his eyes, and couldn't help but think that maybe she was right.

Maybe everything would be fine.

XXXXXXXXX

Chandler crawled out of bed. Who the _hell_ was calling his hotel room at two in the morning?

"Hegro?" he mumbled as he picked up the receiver.

A hushed voice came from the other end.

"Chandler?"

"Yes."

"I'm… I'm going to come… I'm going to Philadelphia… with you…"

Sounds of crying came from the other end, along with the croaky voice; two people were crying. One he recognized and one that sounded more like a child's sobs.

His heart jumped a few beats, "What happened?"

"He's gone… he's gone… Richard's _gone_… Heart attack…"

Chandler's mind froze and went numb. Two seconds later, it was up and running again, comprehending only one thing:

_She wanted to come. _

Part of him was crying out in jubilation; he was going to be with the woman he was _meant_ to be with. She would live with him, she would be the mother Emily had dreamed of, and he would be the stepfather of Monica's son, Daniel.

They could be a family.

But the other part of him was not celebrating. Another life lost. An important one, too; it was the man she had believed to be her soul mate; how did he know she wasn't just taking his offer to move to Philadelphia with him because she was confused, lost?

But weren't they all confused?

Weren't they all lost?

And what was he supposed to say to this new?

"I'm sorry, Mon," he whispered. "I'll be right there."

XXXXXXXX

He knocked three times, and the door opened quickly.

She was a mess. Her raven hair fell into her face but she swept it out of her face with a quick motion. Her cheeks were tear-stained and her eyes bloodshot, her lips pulled down. She saw him in the doorway, looking worried, and almost smiled; her eyes sparked as she pulled him into a kiss. It wasn't a romantic or sexy kiss; it seemed to be one that comforted her and made his heart stop for a full minute. She ended it and he wrapped his arms around her once again.

"Are you okay?" he murmured against her head of hair.

"No…" she sobbed, and then took a deep breath and stepped back from Chandler. "So… I can still come to Philadelphia with you?"

He nodded, "Is your son okay with that?"

She sighed, "He hates this city, and now he hates it even more… he's in my room, sleeping… I told him to get some rest… I said that would help with the pain."

Chandler nodded, his heart singing a song of joy and love. She was _coming_…

"Monica, I'm so-"

He was interrupted as someone knocked on the door. Both glanced at each other, wondering the same thing: _Who the hell knocks on doors at two-thirty in the morning? _

Chandler shrugged and turned around, opening the door.

XXXXXXXX

"Oh. My. God."

Five people said this simultaneously, each looking utterly astonished to see whoever was in the opposite side of the doorway.

"Chandler?" Rachel asked, her eyes wide and tearful as she recognized him. "Oh my god, you got a mustache-thingie…"

Chandler fought back a grin, remembering Monica's mournful news, but he couldn't hold back a laugh. In front of him was Joey, smiling only the way a Tribbiani could; Ross, whose eyes were brighter than a full moon and who was holding hands with a Rachel who looked like she couldn't have asked for more than to be reunited with the two people standing in front of her. Chandler was speechless as she let go of Ross and walked forward, embracing Chandler like a long-lost brother.

Chandler looked over her shoulder and saw the fourth member of the group, "Is that...?"

"Yeah," Ross said croakily. "This is my daughter, Phoebe."

Phoebe looked up at Joey, confused, "And who are _these_ people?"

Joey smiled, his own eyes welling up, "These people are… they're… they're family."

XXXXXXXX

Rachel would have smiled if she had not been walking to the grave of her late friend. She was holding hands with Ross, the man she had yearned to be with for nine years. A strange feeling overwhelmed her, and she realized this was what is must feel like to be happy. To her right walked Monica and Chandler, silent, but also holding hands. What had happened between them, she wasn't quite sure; they hadn't explained the night before, when everyone else had told their stories. Behind her was Joey, who stood in between Phoebe and Daniel, who were surprisingly behaved.

Finally, the part she was dreading came; they reached the large gravestone marked 'Phoebe Buffay'. There were a few other markings on the stone, including her date of birth and death, but Rachel and the others paid the stone no attention now. They created a circle around the grave, looking down solemnly. The two children understood that something was happening and stayed quiet, watching the adults.

Finally, Joey spoke in a hushed voice, "We miss you, Pheebs. We always have… it just… it just took a while for us to realize it. And we'll always miss you. And whenever I see a cat, I make friends with it just in case, y'know… it's really you in there…"

A tear trickled down his face and onto his neck; he knelt down and placed the bouquet of flowers he had brought at the base of the stone. After a moment, he stood back up and rejoined the circle.

Then, in one motion, all but Rachel and Joey knelt down at the gravestone, placing their own flowers down. They stood up and looked down at the grave, feeling that there was nothing else to be said. Joey had said everything that was in their hearts.

"Can I… be alone?" Rachel asked quietly, and the other four nodded, and, after exchanging a quick glance, began to slowly walk to the other side of the cemetery.

Rachel knelt beside the headstone, not crying. She'd grieved enough, and tears didn't express her pain anymore. Solemnly, she placed her bouquet of sunflowers in front of the stone. Quietly, she stared at Phoebe's name, and smiled sadly as she stroked the side of the stone, pretending she was stroking her deceased friend's hair. Then, she stood and fixed her shirt. Glancing at the small crowd on the other side of the cemetery who were waiting for her, she turned to the grave once more.

"And that, my friend… is what they call closure," she whispered, and turned around, walking towards Monica, Chandler, Ross, Joey, and her own Phoebe, ready to continue the life that should have been.

XXXXXXXXXX

I hit a wall after the first Ross, Rach, and Joey part. Honestly, it took me several days to come up with the next Mondler part, but I did it… woo-hoo!

So, my beloved readers, fans, and skeptics: that's the end. Finale. No more. Zip, zero, zilch. And that just makes me damn sad. I know that sounds conceited, that not that many people care that this particular story is over- but I do, and I'm gonna miss you all, and I'm gonna miss this tale. I mean, I'm somewhat glad it's over, because I've promised myself to finish a lot of my stories before summer is over… a billion and one things to do… and the SG-1 fans are murdering me in my sleep, too, but if you look in my profile, I put a bunch of stories 'on hold', so leave me alone:isn't talking to anyone in particular:

_Please_ tell me you all remember where the closure line is from… that Rachel moment shouldn't be forgotten… I think that was the true beginning of R/R, in my opinion.

Love always my dearest readers and "colleagues",

D.F. (Not my actual name, btw… I'm a girl, if you haven't figured that out yet)


End file.
